Back to Blogging

I'm still truckin' along people. I've not updated because I've been so busy trying to catch up with the rest of my unit (who have been here for over four months already), figuring out what the mission is exactly, and getting used to way they do things. As I mentioned in an earlier post, ours is a logistics mission so we cover the units that fall under the command of the 316th as well as other units on LSA Anaconda. Our unit is essentially made up of two teams: a print team that writes, edits, and publishes a weekly 16 page newspaper called the Anaconda Times and a broadcast team that writes, edits, and produces a 15 minute + bi-monthly newscast called Newsreel Anaconda. We also submit our stories to Armed Forces Network Bureaus around the world as well as to The Pentagon Channel. Both of these teams are made up of just four soldiers each so the demand on each of us is pretty big. We have a lot to do with very few soldiers and that's not including our other responsibilities like early morning PT (physical training), shift change (mandatory reporting from each section of the days events), occasional guard duty, and of course maintaining our equipment, weapons, living and work areas.

All in all, it's not that bad here. They call Balad "Mortaritaville" because we get blasted a lot with mortar rounds but I haven't experienced much of that. A few come in every now and then but nothing like I experienced when I was in the Green Zone in 2004. This base is big so the mortars would have to land fairly close in order for me to hear them. Sometimes I hear what I think is thunder...then I realize it's not thunder, it's an explosion. So weird! And as odd as I know this sounds to you, on a day to day basis for us, life here feels pretty normal. I get up, go to work, do what I have to do, and I get back to my trailer - uneventful is the key as is working hard to accomplish the mission. So what is my mission exactly? Two things: (1) Tell the soldier's story and tell it well. (2) Get back to my family and friends in one piece.

Truly, the hardest part for me is missing home. I feel that a lot more severely than I did during my last deployment, which makes sense because I'm in a very different place than I was three years ago! Last weekend was very hard for me because of my brother's wedding. I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and I was sick to my stomach knowing my family was together celebrating his big day and welcoming his wife to our family! Those things, along with holidays, are very very tough on us. That is when it's most apparent to us how much we miss home and the realization that we won't get those days back. It's hard to reconcile.

Having said that, Greg and I stay in touch with occasional phone calls and a lot of emailing and IM'ing! I was able to get an internet connection in my trailer (that we are paying a ridiculous amount for) so that helps a lot! Finding time to email is pretty difficult because my day is pretty packed with work so if you emailed me and haven't heard back, I'm really sorry!

I'm finally feeling like I am comfortable and in to the groove of things here so I will be updating more often! My mom was really worried because she didn't hear from me for a couple of days so I will be sure to not let that happen very often! I've also decided I will do a PICTURE OF THE DAY post mostly every day so that you can really get a sense of what I am seeing on a daily basis. Sometimes I will have to go out on missions and won't be able to do it because I'll be off post (we call it "outside the wire")without access to the internet but I'll try to be consistent. I've taken some pics of my office and trailer so we'll start with these for now.

This is my trailer park looks like! Actually very confusing to find my trailer at first!
Our lovely abode, inside and out! I share part of this trailer with SGT Longbine. She's also in my unit. My bed is comfy, we have air conditioning, a television, and a refrigerator - no bathroom unfortunately but I'm not complaining after sleeping on that nasty cot for so long! I just can't escape the Porto potties though!


Here is where I work. It was VERY surreal when I first got here because when I was in Balad in late 2003, this is the EXACT building I lived in. At the time, it was an old Iraqi office building and we just found a room and camped out in it. Now, to see it so clean and like a real office building is so strange. My old bedroom is now my Captain's office. The smell, the air, the rooms...the memories came rushing back to me and I couldn't believe I was really here again! It seemed just like yesterday, not four years ago! But here is the building, the hallway, and the broadcasters work area.

Like I said, I will post a pic or two a day to give you a visual of life for us here on LSA Anaconda. There are about 25,000 troops here and each one has a story. Hopefully through my stories and pictures, you won't feel so detached from what our life is like. I miss you all....

Iraq

I've finally arrived in Iraq. I got here at 4:30 this morning. It was quite a trip. I flew from Kuwait to Qatar to Balad on a C130. Not the most comfortable plane but after a few years in the military I've come to expect that comfort, or lack thereof, simply comes with the territory. It's pretty funny what I've become accustomed to after living like a nomad for a few weeks. I realized the other day that I haven't flushed a toilet in over two weeks. Think about it. What that means is for over two weeks I haven't had a nice, relaxing....well, you know. I've only used porto potties that are shared by thousands of soldiers. Gross. Beyond gross. But funny nonetheless. Too candid? My sincere apologies but I did tell you I would share the good and the bad about this deployment and now I guess I've ventured into toilet humor (yes, pun absolutely intended). Hey, it's no treat for me either. When I finally flushed today, I started to laugh. Perhaps the humor doesn't transfer very well here but to me, it's funny.

Thankfully, I'm moving on. I've met up with my team in Balad which consists of 8 soldiers from a reserve unit in California. The other 13 are in Baghdad at Camp Victory. I've worked with most of them before so it was nice to finally see some recognizable faces! After three weeks of traveling solo and having inner conversations, I really freaked myself out a few days ago when I actually verbalized part of my conversation! The trip to Balad couldn't come fast enough.

Luckily, they are giving me a few days to get comfortable and finish all of the administration stuff before I hit the ground running. It was VERY nice to have mail here waiting on me when I get here so THANK YOU Mom and Chuck, Gail, Mike and Jen, Mom Mom, Whitney, and Judy!!! It was like Christmas!! The only real negative thing so far is my BlackBerry doesn't work here like it did in Kuwait so I started to panic when I got here and realized there is no commercial cell phone use. I had no way to let Greg know I arrived, and arrived safely. It really bummed me out (see picture below). Greg calls that my Sad Fish Face. I admit it, I was sad. I really wanted to talk to him and I was feeling alone and helpless. But I'm fine now and before that, I was staying positive during my trip (see smiling picture below). Besides, I do have access to the Internet and the mail definitely cheered me up (see other smiling pic)! Enjoy the pics and I'll be in touch soon!

PS...if you want to email me you can at addiecollins@gmail.com!

Oh, and my name tag still says Collins because it takes a lot of paperwork to officially change your name in the Army....I start that tomorrow to become SSG ZINONE!! Yay!!

Here We Go Again

A litte over a week ago I received a call alerting me that I am headed back to Iraq. For those who know me, you know the deal. For those who don't, I spent a year in Iraq from November 2003 to November 2004. I spent a month or so in Balad, but mostly I was stationed in Baghdad.
I've been home for a while now; long enough to meet a (wonderful) man and marry him.




I blogged about my experience the first time, but I used my maiden name. This time is different, for several reasons: (1) I have a different name. I'm Addie Zinone (proudly) (2) I have a child...granted, my child has four legs, not two, but I love her just the same (3) I have a meaningful job that brings attention to the people and organizations I believe truly deserve it (4) I'm older, wiser, stronger, prouder (5) I'm also a lot more sad.

I'm not writing all of this to garner sympathy; I'm simply writing to provide a voice, if I may be so bold, for many soldiers like me who find themselves in a very similar situation. It's clearly more dangerous than it was a few years ago but the danger isn't my biggest fear. My biggest fear is the saddness I am going to feel leaving my husband and now my little doggy, the FAMILY I love so much!


I hope I am not offending anyone, particularly my mother, by saying this deployment will be harder for me. It's never easy to leave anyone in your family but the truth is, throughout college and because of the various jobs I've had over the years, I've been home very little. So I'm used to it. It's sad, of course, but it's a different kind of sad. Leaving my husband, someone I have been around consistently for two-and-a-half years, is something I can't fathom. And I'm petrified of that final hug goodbye.

When I went to Iraq the first time, I didn't have the additional burden of leaving a husband behind. I felt little guilt; but now I feel a little guilty because I am leaving Greg to worry about me in ways I can not imagine. I am leaving him to care for our dog alone, to sit alone on the couch watching tv shows we used to watch together, and to love from a distance. It stinks!!

One of the good things about this tour, however, is I am filling in for someone who has to come home. I am not sure why he is leaving; all I know is I am going. As such, I will only have to serve 9 or 10 months in Iraq. I am headed to Balad, which is about 65 miles north of Baghdad. It's an old Iraqi airfield that is home to about 28,000 soldiers. I will have plenty of company. But not the company I want!!! Take care of my husband! I will miss him terribly.....and I know he will miss me too.

My future sister-in-law, Lindsey, forwarded me an email about having "perspective" - about how those of us in the states need to take a break from complaining so much because the men and women serving in our military have to deal with really terrible things on a daily basis. The very last line of the email was "the only thing harder than being a soldier is loving one". It's so true! It's much harder for our friends and family, particularly a spouse, to deal with a deployment, especially in a war zone, because they feel fear and desperation about the unknown. I know Greg will be constantly thinking, "Is Addie okay? Is she in danger? Is she being careful?" because that is what my mom was always thinking! It's completely natural to worry like that and, I can only imagine, it makes for an awfully long year for them.

So what I'm trying to do this time is blog about my deployment more frequently. All of it, from now until the end, the good, the bad, the scary, and the ugly. Because, I feel, the more informed and aware my family, friends, and Greg are about what I am up to, the easier it will be for them. And that's all I want: to know they are okay. Then I will be okay.

More later. I'm off to enjoy one of the few weekends I have left with my family.