Apparently, Iraq Is My Catwalk

I’ve been a bad girl. It’s been almost a month since I’ve updated and I really am sorry for that. I know people look forward to hearing what is going on and seeing pictures. So much for my Picture of the Day, huh? I will be better, REALLY, I promise. I’ll be better.

It’s been a busy month, which is a good excuse for why I haven’t posted, but it wouldn’t be the truth. It’s just that when I finally get back to my trailer at night, usually after 9pm and a 12 to 15-hour day, I’m just too tired to be creative and/or entertaining. And I realize you don’t need me to be creative, you just want “me”, but there is some pressure when you know people will be reading.

Life out here is pretty good, all things considered. It’s very different than my first tour - I mean, really different. In the Green Zone in 2004, we were surrounded by hundreds of civilian contractors, federal employees from the Department of Defense and State Department, and local Iraqis hired for daily work in “the zone”. I was covering stories that spanned the country – from oil refineries, hospitals, schools, and even the Babylon ruins. Occasionally, those stories would involve soldiers but mostly, they were stories of rebuilding and restructuring, and often times they starred civilians who were paid big bucks to improve the quality of life in Iraq. Admittedly, those stories were fun because I got to travel and see a lot of things, but I didn’t truly get a solid appreciation for what the soldiers on the ground were doing on a daily basis – because mostly I was interviewing civilians. Now, although the mission isn’t as “sexy” (my detachment falls under a “sustainment” command – which means feeding supplies to troops in theater), I certainly do appreciate what the soldiers are doing on a daily basis and just how vital and important their role is in this conflict. I’m not talking politics; I’m talking soldiering.

Every day, there are soldiers who go on “route clearance” missions outside the wire. They are the soldiers who go out before the supply delivery convoys, usually before the sun comes up, and scout for IED’s or other known threats in the area. They do this so the supply convoys have a better chance of reaching their destination without incident – meaning, they clear the route of potential bombs that cause unimaginable damage and harm. Take a minute to think of that as your job – something that becomes so routine you forget there is a good chance it can kill you. Personalize it, if you can. It’s mind blowing to think of what theses men and women do for a living. That, for whatever the reason is they joined the military, they now find themselves confronting explosives head on and detonating them before they kill their battle buddies. It sounds cheesy but to me, it’s awe-inspiring. I do little in comparison to these soldiers; I simply put a camera in their face and ask for the privilege to tell their story but seeing it firsthand gives me a much deeper appreciation for how tough, and dangerous, a job it is.

We don’t get caught up in the politics of this War. In fact, I feel pretty out of touch with what is going on in the news, unlike last time. I rarely, if ever, have time to watch television or read the newspaper, and I don’t have any idea what is going on with the Presidential race. In less than a year, we will have a new Commander in Chief, and most of us are so busy with our mission, we have little time to absorb information that will help us cast our vote. I anticipate many trips here by Presidential candidates in 2008. The military vote is a large one and whoever is voted in office has a huge responsibility with our lives. I don’t envy that responsibility (shudder).

Before I came here, I authored a post on this blog labeled “Care Packages”. I thought it was fairly information and I knew some people might think the comment about the letters from school children being largely unnecessary was a bit harsh, but I didn’t think it would warrant this type of backlash:

Anonymous said...

My, my the Department of Defense is spending its money well on you. Pretty as a picture and living in luxery in Iraq. And that deal you have with Netgrocer (another client of your firm?) must be very lucrative.

Many soldiers are living in very remote, dangerous and inconvenient areas. They write daily to an organization you put down and say that any communication with soldiers would be GREATLY appreciated. Your crack about "random" letters from midwestern school children tells most of us that you are a PR plant. A well paid (and well housed) model posing as a PR person hired by the government to show us what a great old time our soldiers are having.

I support this effort and our troops and don't advise sending junk at all. However, it is very clear that you have an agenda and that the solders would be best served by the unpaid citizens who supprt them and not some press release writer like you are.

Wow...I'd love to meet this person face to face. Better yet, I'd love this person to meet my mom, my husband, my brother and sister, my in-laws, my friends, and my boss's at Access Hollywood and SDI who have also had to sacrifice and worry every single day that I've spent in Iraq since late 2003. I understand someone taking my post out of context, but this particular commenter clearly has an agenda of his or her own. Just for giggles, in case "anonymous" comes back for a second round of MY LIFE A to Z literature, I'll address some of the accusations with proof they are more than a little ill-informed.

Pretty as a picture and living in luxery in Iraq.

Does anyone else find this part of the sentence bizarre? "...living in luxery (sic) in Iraq". Who thinks that ANYONE is living in luxury in Iraq? hahahahaha...okay moving on.

I guess I should take the compliment and accept that sometimes I am pretty as a picture. After all, I am assuming the picture he/she is looking at is from my wedding and if HAPPINESS equals PRETTY, them I'm guilty as charged. As for living in luxery (um, spell check is key if you are going for credibility), try this out for size: I have sand in nearly every crevice; my fingernails, no matter how often I clean them, are always dirty; I share a porto potty with hundreds of strangers at least 5 times a day; I share a very small room with another woman, virtually guaranteeing little or no privacy for a year; I live on a base that is mortared several times throughout the day and my wake up call sometimes sounds like this: "this is the command post, there has been an indirect fire attack. I repeat, there has been an indirect fire attack. seek cover seek cover seek cover."; every day I inhale toxins and who knows what else from smoke that rises from the huge fire pit on base; several times a month, I seek to tell stories that can potentially kill me, because that is my job; my husband of just six months, my family, friends and job are more than 8,000 miles away; And I live in the most dangerous country in the world. Some luxurious life, huh? If I'm not mistaken, save for the "cot life" in Kuwait on my way here, I've never really complained about the set up, have I? Just checking.

that deal you have with Netgrocer (another client of your firm?) must be very lucrative.

hahahahahaha - I've personally spent hundreds of dollars at Netgrocer.com during my deployments. I've yet to see any dollaz coming to me....hahahahahaha. This is fun.

Many soldiers are living in very remote, dangerous and inconvenient areas.

This is very true and I have addressed the living conditions of these soldiers, including my appreciation for what they do. Perhaps he/she should read the entire post, and they'll see that.

They write daily to an organization you put down and say that any communication with soldiers would be GREATLY appreciated.

I didn't put any organization down; I simply said that many (but not all) soldiers want to communicate with people they know, instead of complete strangers. If you are not a member of the military, you probably don't understand. At first, the letters are cute but after a while, you crave personal communication. ALL communication is appreciated but some is more effective than others. That is all I was trying to say. Jeez.

...tells most of us that you are a PR plant. A well paid (and well housed) model posing as a PR person hired by the government to show us what a great old time our soldiers are having.

Bitter much? Yea, I'm Sydney Bristow and this is my version of Alias, only I'm a model and Iraq is my catwalk. How many models do you know are PR plants - in the most dangerous countries in the world? And how many models do you know make $28,000 a year working internationally, as I apparently am right now? Better yet, if I am a model posing as a PR plant, why do I look like a soldier? I'm wearing a uniform so according to "anonymous" that would make me a soldier plant, not a PR plant. Hahahaha...thanks for the model compliment though. Camouflage does suit me, I'll give you that. Keep reading this blog, and the one from last time, and you'll see, if the government is paying me to push positive stories about them, they aren't using their money wisely.

it is very clear that you have an agenda and that the solders would be best served by the unpaid citizens who supprt them and not some press release writer like you are.

Tsk Tsk. Again with the spellcheck. Look in to it. For the record, I think the soldiers are very well served by me, not as a "model pr plant", but as their battle buddy. I serve alongside them, with them at times, through 2 deployments, while documenting a truly unique and intense time in their lives; a time when all they want to do is succeed at their mission so they can return home in one piece; a time when many of them lose friends in an instant while keeping Americans safe to enjoy their freedom; a time when emails make the difference in their day and a care package from their family fuels the energy they need to keep going; a time when people like anonymous questions their service and try to make them feel guilty because they are provided with a decent bed to sleep on. But they keep going because that's what soldiers do.


Greg will laugh at me responding to "anonymous" and I don't blame him because I'm giving attention to someone whose comment was buried in a post from months ago. When I first read it, it really did bother me. In fact, I was pissed. But then I cooled off and laughed about it. The model bit was my favorite. And while I am no longer upset about it, I wanted to defend the allegations, not for most people who read this blog but for those like "anonymous" who feel I was disrespectful in my post.

Mostly, though, I'm fighting back because this deployment and separation is very painful to me. Every day I hurt, just like thousands of other soldiers, and whether they are resting comfortably in trailers or sleeping uncomfortably on the sand, the pain of prolonged separation is the same. And if one person, whether I know them or not, questions the sincerity of my service, I take it personally. I'm not some high paid model working undercover in Iraq; I'm an American soldier and this is my second tour of duty in a war zone in service of my Country. I am sacrificing, my family is sacrificing and thousands of Americans have paid the ultimate sacrifice. I will not allow some random comment to cheapen that.

I Adore My Husband

I am back in Balad after a long week visiting Al Asad, Al Taqaddum, and Camp Hit. I am beat up and tired but THIS cheered me up. I had a package waiting on me when I got back to the office. Greg sent me all kinds of goodies that we love to share - gummy letters, Flammin' hot Baked Cheetos, twizzlers, and then my personal favorite (not his), Diet Mountain Dew. The best part is the note he put on each and every one of the cans that came in the box - each a different reason for loving me. I cried for the first time since leaving him over a month ago. Not that I haven't been sad but I've been able to keep the tears at bay because it's wayyyy too early in the game for me to be crying all the time. I am trying to be strong and keep it together but after a great but very tiring week outside the wire, this amazing package from my incredibly sweet husband provoked real tears. They weren't just "i miss him" tears; they were also happy tears because he made me smile when I didn't feel like smiling. I married my best friend five months ago and these cans are just a reminder that I hit the husband jackpot.

Iraq

I've finally arrived in Iraq. I got here at 4:30 this morning. It was quite a trip. I flew from Kuwait to Qatar to Balad on a C130. Not the most comfortable plane but after a few years in the military I've come to expect that comfort, or lack thereof, simply comes with the territory. It's pretty funny what I've become accustomed to after living like a nomad for a few weeks. I realized the other day that I haven't flushed a toilet in over two weeks. Think about it. What that means is for over two weeks I haven't had a nice, relaxing....well, you know. I've only used porto potties that are shared by thousands of soldiers. Gross. Beyond gross. But funny nonetheless. Too candid? My sincere apologies but I did tell you I would share the good and the bad about this deployment and now I guess I've ventured into toilet humor (yes, pun absolutely intended). Hey, it's no treat for me either. When I finally flushed today, I started to laugh. Perhaps the humor doesn't transfer very well here but to me, it's funny.

Thankfully, I'm moving on. I've met up with my team in Balad which consists of 8 soldiers from a reserve unit in California. The other 13 are in Baghdad at Camp Victory. I've worked with most of them before so it was nice to finally see some recognizable faces! After three weeks of traveling solo and having inner conversations, I really freaked myself out a few days ago when I actually verbalized part of my conversation! The trip to Balad couldn't come fast enough.

Luckily, they are giving me a few days to get comfortable and finish all of the administration stuff before I hit the ground running. It was VERY nice to have mail here waiting on me when I get here so THANK YOU Mom and Chuck, Gail, Mike and Jen, Mom Mom, Whitney, and Judy!!! It was like Christmas!! The only real negative thing so far is my BlackBerry doesn't work here like it did in Kuwait so I started to panic when I got here and realized there is no commercial cell phone use. I had no way to let Greg know I arrived, and arrived safely. It really bummed me out (see picture below). Greg calls that my Sad Fish Face. I admit it, I was sad. I really wanted to talk to him and I was feeling alone and helpless. But I'm fine now and before that, I was staying positive during my trip (see smiling picture below). Besides, I do have access to the Internet and the mail definitely cheered me up (see other smiling pic)! Enjoy the pics and I'll be in touch soon!

PS...if you want to email me you can at addiecollins@gmail.com!

Oh, and my name tag still says Collins because it takes a lot of paperwork to officially change your name in the Army....I start that tomorrow to become SSG ZINONE!! Yay!!

MY ADDRESS

Yes, I know I've posted a lot today but forgive me, I have my very own internet connection and I am making the most of it! I found out yesterday I am headed to Balad, after all. It's about 60 miles north of Baghdad and it's where half of my assigned unit (302nd Mobile Public Affairs Attachment) is. The other half is in Baghdad, at Camp Victory (where I thought I was going). Balad is great in that it is loaded with Morale Welfare and Recreation activities. Greg and I will be working closely with the USO while I am there but more on that later...I want to pack a punch with the announcement and want to make sure all of our ducks are in a row before I spill it...but it's SOOOO exciting for us!! Mission-wise, it will be good, too. I don't have details but there are a lot of Civil Affairs soldiers based in Balad and great opportunities for me to see firsthand some of the humanitarian work that is being done. Okay, let's get to it. Here is my address.....(wink wink)......if you mail something, like a package (wink wink) you MUST go to the post office and fill out a customs form. It's very simple and it's required! Postage rates are national so you will pay the same if you send it to California or to Iraq. For letters and/or cards, no customs form is required. Please, no porn, pork, or alcohol. Don't get me arrested. DVD's and TV Series DVD's are greatly appreciated as it gets VERY boring at night and that is what I watch on my computer as I fall asleep. Right now I am on Season 5 of Cheers. I love Cheers. Crystal Light On The Go's are AWESOME!!! And I love blow pops. Very good snacks to break up the day. That's all I can think of now. I'm sure there will be more so check back often! Thank you so much!

SSG Addie Zinone
302nd MPAD
APO AE 09391

Care Packages

For those of you who don't know what it is I do for a living, it's probably a good idea to explain so that this post will make sense. After years of working in television, I recently started as an Account Executive for a great PR agency in Washington, DC called Susan Davis International. It's Public Relations - something I've never thought I would be interested in doing. Turns out I am interested, and I happen to really enjoy it.

One of our biggest accounts, and the one closest to my heart, is America Supports You, a Department of Defense program which highlights citizens' support for military personnel and their families, and then communicates that support to our troops serving all over the world. The "communicate" part of the equation is the most important element to me, and it has a lot to do with this post. Under the umbrella of the America Supports You program sit over 275 non-profit organizations whose purpose is to provide support of any and all kinds to our men and women in uniform. Fulfilling the needs of our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines is the priority, and it's very upsetting when the needs of these amazing Americans aren't met, or aren't communicated properly.

Today my boss sent me an email a soldier who is stationed in Iraq sent to an extremely successful non-profit organization here in the states.. Because the email was not sent directly to me, I won't reveal which non-profit it was nor will I reveal the soldier's identity. But I would like to talk about what he wrote in the email. Here is a small snippet:

"I am just another Joe in the desert out here in Iraq...has it ever occurred to anyone in the States to ask the troops directly what they need or what in terms of support? The last thing we need out here is another million letters and boxes jammed with Q-tips, cotton balls, and pilfered hotel soap bars.....It just frustrates me to see these campaigns and no one is coordinating with us here."

The email was sent to me because my boss knows I can relate to the soldier's frustrations and she wanted to gage my perspective to see if this is a bitter soldier or a valid complaint. Here is my long response (clearly it is something I am passionate about):

A few things come to mind:

He may, in fact, be a disgruntled Joe. But we have to explore exactly why he is disgruntled and pin down why he has chosen to send an email that can potentially hurt someones efforts in supporting the troops. I'm guessing he is "over it" - run down by missions, danger, violence, increased public dissatisfaction of the war (which we ALL feel and know but rarely talk about with anyone outside of our little circle), time away from family, having very little control over the decisions that affect us, and last but not least, feeling terribly homesick.

As I have mentioned before, the ONE thing we look forward to CONSTANTLY, is getting mail - and if there is a package, light the candles because it absolutely feels like a birthday!! But imagine you are so excited and then you open a package only to find one of hundreds of items you have been sent before; items that were useless even in 2004. It's like getting a birthday present you can't use. Don't get me wrong...the appreciation is there, without a doubt, but the excitement wears off because it's just another example of the disconnect taking place between what soldiers need and what the public think we need.

The truth is our government has gone to great lengths to make sure the majority of us are properly taken care of. Not long after the initial invasion, when logistics were just starting to take effect, private contractors were hired to build and house us in air conditioned trailers stocked with a shared hot water shower and bathroom, television, DVD player as well as personal armoires and beds, TV stands and night tables. Basically, it didn't take long to assure our quality of life on the FOB's (Forward Operation Base) was high. And while the food in the chow halls is wide ranging and served in abundance, it's THEIR choice for what we want; not the choice of the service member.

People can argue that it's the life you choose when you voluntarily sign up to be a JOE. That is true. But it's also true that your friends and family, along with thousands of strangers who want to help in any way they can, are going to send you care packages in an attempt to make you feel less homesick, make you smile, or to help fill a void. If you are a family member, you know exactly what your loved ones want and you can fulfill the request. If you are not, you simply go on what you've heard or what you THINK a soldier needs: q-tips, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, wet naps, beef jerky, pens, pencils, and random well wishes from a kindergarten class in the mid-west. All well intended and appreciated of course, but it's not filling a need and to the soldier, it further fuels the assumption that there is a disconnect between our needs and you, thus adding to our homesickness. Is this too confusing? Well, it is to us as well. It's hard to verbalize or make sense of your feelings in that environment without fear of sounding like a whiner, a slacker, and a pansy that can't take the tough life of a JOE. That is why I think we should move away from assuming this soldier is disgruntled and think of his letter as a Citizen Service Announcement for the thousands of troops who share his frustrations. And think of ways to combat it (pun intended).

How do we do this? Well, one way is to push this relationship with NetGrocer.com. As I have mentioned before, I spent hundreds of my own dollars at Net Grocer on items I wasn't getting in care packages and that weren't offered in the chow hall or PX....items that gave me a piece of home and a feeling of normalcy. I understand this probably sounds crazy, but it truly boosted my morale to enjoy a 12 ounce can of Diet Mountain Dew - something that I can pick up anywhere in the states but also something that takes over 2 weeks to get when deployed in a war zone. When I relayed that message to my friends and family, I no longer had to spend my money on it. They took out the toothpaste and q-tips and made room for another 6 pack of Diet Mountain Dew. They weren't wrong for not doing it in the first place; they simply didn't know.

Secondly, we should relay this message to all the home front groups who fall under ASY that send care packages overseas. I think they should ALL reevaluate the items they spend their time and money on, determine if those items still fit the needs of today's soldier based on the soldier's conditions, and adjust fire (again, pun intended). There is no need to fill packages with unwanted or unneeded items and then waste a lot of money on shipping.

America Supports You can provide the troops and the home front group a fantastic service. We've been provided a very useful message from a soldier who knows what he is talking about. Now we need to relay that message to the appropriate home front groups, start a conversation (perhaps a conference call summit), and see what we can collectively agree is the best plan of action to assure this kind of letter isn't written again.

I get that most of this message may not mean that much to you. Alot of what I wrote is jargon known to only those of us who work on the account but I'd like to address a few of the points I made in the email because this can help everyone out who is planning to send care packages to soldiers like me (wink wink).

I am on my way back to Iraq and it's almost guaranteed that I will have the same comfy set up that you see in the picture above. Many soldiers and Marines do not, however. If you pay attention to the background of this picture you will see he is living is substandard conditions, one which allows the mighty Marines to pack up quickly and defend our Freedoms (Thank You!). Please understand, however, that this is NOT how the majority of us are roughing it. If you know a soldier or Marine serving in this capacity, the items in this pic are probably more suitable for them. These items are great because they fit in pockets, ruck sacks, and duffel bags. They are also very convenient and necessary for troops who have to travel light and for troops who like to brush their teeth, wipe off the sand, and fuel up on snacks between firefights.

But like I said before, most of us are not living like that so those little things people think we need end up in the garbage - or as handouts to Iraqi children. There is a huge misconception about the life of a soldier. True, there are moments of inconvenience and restless nights on uncomfortable cots while consuming dry and tasteless MRE's. But for MOST soldiers, this happens very rarely. Which is why the email from the soldier is so valuable.

He and his soldiers don't need food that is still edible ten years down the road. They, like me, want things they can't get their hands on: soda, candy, or chips not offered in the chow hall or PX, portable entertainment equipment (ipods, dvd players, handheld gaming consoles) and a litany of other things. My suggestion, if you want to send care packages and not waste your money, would be to find a soldier or a unit and communicate with them and their Chain of Command to gage their specific wants and needs. Additionally, I wouldn't send something to "any soldier". We're beyond that as almost every soldier receives cards, letters, and packages and if they aren't, a random letter of support from someone they don't know won't do much to boost their morale. I do suggest, however, that in your communication with your loved one, you ask if someone in his or her unit isn't receiving mail on a regular basis. Then email that soldier, ask them what they would like specifically, and send it with love.

The fear here is that people will think soldiers are being unappreciative. It's not that at all! But it does get redundant to read letters of support from strangers we don't know. At first, it's cute and appreciated but the feeling wears off after the 10th letter from someone whose name we don't recognize. When it's personal, it's awesome. When it's not, it's a little less awesome(sorry to sound so rude, but it's true!).

Whew, this has turned out to be a long post! I'm not even sure it makes sense but I hope it is helpful in pointing out what is valuable to a soldier and what is not. I mentioned NetGrocer above...it's a great on-line grocery and product service that ships to military bases all over the world. I used it and I encourage others to use it. SDI is in the process of building a relationship with NetGrocer and some of the non-profit groups that fall under America Supports You to make it more user friendly for the military and their families. But until then, hop on over and look around. Better yet, send the link to whoever you know in Iraq or Afghanistan, and ask them to make a wish list. It will do wonders for their spirit and you can be sure your money will be well spent.

Have a great weekend!